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Candidate Denies Vacillation on Whales

The candidate noted that whales are an important issue and that something should be done.

"I'm the cetacean-friendly candidate! Our new position, which is the same as our old position, which hasn't changed since it was last modified, is that whales are good for people and the environment," the candidate told a major cable news network (no, not that one, the other one).

"Unfortunately, I've been misrepresented on this issue, and I have decided to save the whales for my second course, I meant term," the candidate added.

Confused? You won't be after the candidate is elected and really starts to take care of those whales.

The candidate asserted that the confusion over past positions was the result of misrepresentation by the liberal media, which is run behind the scenes by a vast left-fluke conspiracy.
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